Reneé Rapp on Blurring the Line Between Bestie and Lover

The pop singer and actress Reneé Rapp has a deep love for her friends. She maintains a nonstop group chat with more than 15 close friends every day. Their lives are so intertwined that the line between platonic and romantic can sometimes get blurry, particularly since many of them have dated each other.

Rapp, best known for her role in the Broadway musical and new film adaptation “Mean Girls,” has an upcoming album, “Bite Me,” which delves into the intimacy and messiness of friendships, not just romantic relationships. Mirroring her album’s themes, Rapp walks Anna Martin through various vulnerable moments she has recently shared with friends, including one with her best friend and former “The Sex Lives of College Girls” co-star Alyah Chanelle Scott.

It’s no surprise that Rapp chose to read the Modern Love essay “This is What Happens When Friends Fall in Love” by Sammy Sass. The piece resonates with her own experiences of sustaining love within queer friendships. While Rapp says she doesn’t have a blueprint, she has learned to navigate misunderstandings and express genuine love to those closest to her.

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For 20 years, the Modern Love column has given New York Times readers a glimpse into the complicated love lives of real people. Since its start, the column has evolved into a TV show, three books and a podcast.

Each week, host Anna Martin brings you stories and conversations about love in all its glorious permutations, dumb pitfalls and life-changing moments. New episodes every Wednesday.

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• No. of episodes: 402
• Latest episode: 2025-07-30
• Society & Culture

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