Anger Secrets: Anger Management for Healthier Relationships

209 - How To Stay Calm When You're Angry

2026-10-31

For help controlling your anger, visit angersecrets.com.

Most people try to stay calm by biting their tongue and hoping the feeling passes. It rarely works, because by then the anger has already built. In this episode, Alastair shows you what to do instead.

You can feel it starting: the heat in your chest, your jaw going tight, the harsh words already lining up in your head. And you know how the next ten minutes will go, because they've gone that way before.

You'll learn three practical steps you can use the next time you feel it building. You'll discover the physical, emotional and thinking early warning signs that tell you anger is on its way, why your thoughts create your anger rather than the event itself, and how to say what you need without putting the other person on the defensive.

Alastair also works through "I" statements in detail, including the difference between "you never listen to me" and "I feel unheard when I'm interrupted". He then takes one ordinary trigger, dirty dishes left in the sink again, and runs it through all three steps so you can see how a blow up turns into a productive conversation.

The Anger Secrets Podcast helps men and women master anger management, recognise their early warning signs, stay calm under pressure, and build calmer, happier relationships.

Hosted by anger specialist Alastair Duhs, creator of The Complete Anger Management System.

No. of episodes

210

Latest episode

2026-10-31

Where can you listen?

Most people don't look for anger management until anger starts damaging the people they love.
They try to stay calm. They promise themselves they'll do better next time. They work harder to control their reactions.
But the outbursts keep happening. The arguments keep escalating. The tension keeps building at home.
The problem isn't simply learning to suppress anger. Lasting anger management comes from understanding anger triggers, improving emotional regulation, addressing the root causes of anger and developing healthier ways to communicate during conflict.
That's what Anger Secrets is here to help you do.
Hosted by anger expert Alastair Duhs, Anger Secrets is an anger management podcast that helps you understand why anger keeps coming back, how to control anger before it controls you, and how to repair the damage anger can cause in relationships and family life.
Each episode explores practical strategies for anger control, emotional regulation, communication and conflict resolution, anger triggers, relationship conflict, parenting challenges and rebuilding trust after anger has damaged important relationships.
You'll learn how to stop losing your temper, stay calm under pressure, manage anger in relationships, communicate more effectively, and create healthier, happier, and more respectful connections with the people who matter most.
Whether you're struggling with anger in your marriage, frustration with your children, recurring conflict at home, or a lifetime pattern of explosive reactions, this show will give you practical tools and proven strategies for lasting change.
New episodes every week. If you're ready to gain control of your anger and build stronger relationships, you're in the right place.
Popular episode topics: Anger Management, How to Control Anger, Anger Triggers, Marriage and Anger, Managing Anger in Relationships, Anger and Parenting, How to Stop Snapping at Your Kids, Emotional Regulation, Healthy Conflict Resolution, Communication for Couples, the Root Cause of Anger, and Rebuilding Trust After Anger.